Foundation of Successful Relationships

“What is the foundation to a successful Marriage and relationships?”

Foundation of Relationships

Focus on Giving

The foundation of any relationship, is a focus on giving: How can I best contribute to the other’s welfare? If both partners share this attitude, the relationship flows beautifully in both directions, building connection and a common bond of unity and love.

Avoid Taking

When the focus is on taking — “What will s/he do for me?” — the dynamic pulls in the opposite direction, away from the spouse, creating strain and tension. As the saying goes, ‘Charity starts at home’, that’s the reason why giving is the foundation of a loving, enduring marriage. Give up the “Me, Myself and I”.

We all have relationships which need some work and need of improvement. Whether at work, friends, family or marriage. Remember, we all reap what we sow. If we sow kindness we shall reap kindness, if we sow selfishness we shall reap selfishness. It is more blessed to give than to receive. Put others first then they will put you first in return.

Avoid being Negative if you want fruitful relationships

Human beings are innately selfish. That’s why, in describing kindness, Rabbi Hillel the Great, said:

“What is hateful to you, do not do unto others.”

Rabbi Hillel the Great  — [Talmud — Shabbat 31a]

This forces us to think how it would feel to be on the receiving end of indignities we’d rather be spared. Once this stage of not harming others is instilled in you, for example — “Don’t throw trash any where” — it extends to a higher level of ethical living, for example; picking up trash on the street.

Some examples of “What is hateful to you…”:

  • Don’t embarrass others.
  • Don’t gossip or speak negatively about others.
  • Don’t take revenge.
  • Don’t disturb another person’s concentration or sleep.
  • Give people the benefit of the doubt.
  • Don’t keep others waiting.
  • Don’t display anger toward others.
  • Protect others from injury or loss.
  • Be honest in business dealings.

Each item takes a lifetime to master. And it’s exactly what we’re here for!

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